The Witcher 3’s Floating Hammer Bug: 10 Years of Hilarious Glitches CD Projekt Won’t Fix

The Witcher 3’s Floating Sledgehammer Bug: The Most Hilarious Glitch to Ever Haunt Players

Look, we’ve got monsters, we’ve got witchers, we’ve got manticores — but you know what’s still haunting Geralt after all these years? It’s not some fearsome Kayran or mythical Dagon. Oh no, folks, it’s far worse. It’s a hammer. A little, floating sledgehammer that pops up between Geralt’s legs. Unbelievable, right?

Let me paint you a picture: you’re Geralt of Rivia, you’re a seasoned monster slayer, you’ve been through everything – betrayal, loss, monsters that would even scare your fearless steed, Roach. What do you expect to be battling at this stage? Another griffin? A giant drowner horde? Nope, it’s a *tiny sledgehammer* stuck in an awkward place under your shiny Witcher armor. And it’s not going anywhere. Talk about a joke of a glitch, but let’s break it down, folks. This hammer has been a weird, persistent bug for years. CD Projekt Red clearly won’t be fixing it any time soon — they’re too busy with other projects (more on that later).

The Hammer That Just Won’t Quit

First off, this glitch — a small blacksmith’s hammer floating between Geralt’s ankles, magically moving with him everywhere he goes — has spawned laughs for years. Imagine hacking through hordes of drowners in the swamps, only to be underscored by the tap, tap, tap of a ghost hammer wedded to your feet. It’s as if Geralt’s found a new sidekick no one asked for. It doesn’t matter if you’re walking, riding Roach, swimming, or even indulging in a cutscene – that hammer is lodged underfoot like it’s got something to prove.

Reddit, Comedy Central for Witcher Bugs

The Reddit community, of course, is eating this up. User Idratherhikeout, unlucky enough to have this bug (or is it lucky?), posted their frustration, stating: “I am playing Witcher 3 for the Nth time, and I now have a sledgehammer between my legs. It’s always there. Walking. Under Roach. Under me swimming. Weirdly, it even switched to Uma during the scenes at Kaer Morhen.” And someone, of course, asked the community if the bug is fixable. Here’s the answer—nope! You’re stuck with that hammer like Geralt is stuck with Yennefer’s chaos magic.

No Fix in Sight—And It’s Been 10 Years!

What boggles my mind is that this floating hammer bug isn’t new. It didn’t appear only after the Next-Gen Update or some lesser-known patch. This glitch has been around since launch, people! We’re talking 2015! And during all this time, CD Projekt Red hasn’t managed to hammer out a fix — pun absolutely intended. It’s almost like the developers are laughing along with us, like they’re saying, “You think we’re going to fix that? Nah, enjoy.”

It’s been ten years, and we still don’t have a hotfix. Wanna take a guess why? Simple: CD Projekt Red has moved on. They’ve got their hands deep into future Witcher projects, most notably the next saga codenamed “Polaris.” That, and the fact that they’ve confirmed to IGN that there are “no plans” to address the hammer bug anytime soon. And let’s be real — this bug probably isn’t breaking anyone’s experience. In fact, most players find it downright hilarious. It’s the kind of glitch that enhances the community lore, not destroys it.

So Why Does Everyone Think This Bug Is So Funny?

Well, this question practically answers itself. Why is a floating hammer so funny? Because it’s ridiculous. Here we have one of the most beloved RPGs of all time, dealing with deeply emotional storylines, worldbuilding done right, and mind-blowing visuals — and there’s a rogue hammer just hanging out like an uninvited guest at a swanky banquet. It’s goofy. It’s surreal. And honestly, it’s the kind of irregularity in gaming that makes players share screenshots with comments like “WTF is this hammer doing under Geralt?” – memefication at its finest.

User PaschalisG16 summed it up perfectly in their post: “What the hell is this hammer doing between his legs? It’s everywhere.” And they’re right. From 2017 to 2023, frustrated players have taken to Reddit and social platforms to vent, laugh, and share their bizarre hammer sightings. It’s like some weird inside joke that CD Projekt Red knows but refuses to call out: “Yeah, Geralt’s a monster hunter. Also, he’s being followed by a hammer. Your move, fanbase.”

Previous Attempts to Fix It? Not a Chance

Some Reddit users have suggested a few Hail-Mary techniques to get rid of this cursed hammer. One suggestion involves shifting back a few saves and deleting any infected ones. But let’s face it, folks, no one’s really got hours to lose replaying the same parts of the game just to avoid the world’s funniest hammer glitch. Others? Well, they’ve just learned to live with it. After all, Geralt has survived far worse.

A Bug, But No Impact on the Game’s Legendary Reputation

You’d think after ten years of hammer glitches haunting Geralt’s adventures, The Witcher 3 would lose some of its luster. But let me be clear, this game is invincible. It’s arguably the greatest RPG of all time. If floating hammers or Roach standing atop rooftops hasn’t dethroned it, nothing will.

CD Projekt Red knows this. Even after the Next-Gen Update that landed in December 2022, the game continues to thrive with fresh content—whether it’s community mods or official enhancements. For instance, they’ve released REDkit, a modding tool for PC players allowing them to expand the Witcher universe. Want a custom character? Done. Want a morality and reputation system that adds even more weight to Geralt’s decisions? Modders have already taken care of that.

All in all, even while CD Projekt preps for their next big Witcher games, their magnum opus is still buzzing with new content and possibilities. It’s no wonder this game has stayed in the spotlight all these years, hammer glitch or not.

The Future of the Witcher Universe: Polaris, Remakes, and More

That being said, CD Projekt Red’s future plans are enormous. Besides the eventual release of “Polaris,” which will introduce a brand-new protagonist, the devs are also hard at work on a remake of the original Witcher in Unreal Engine 5. And because we live in a world that constantly demands more, a spin-off is also in development with more “mass appeal.” When that project (codenamed “Sirius”) arrives, we’ll see how it stacks up against the legends. But can anything truly outshine the bug-filled glory of the Witcher 3? I doubt it, folks. Because whether it’s a next-gen update or a floating sledgehammer, this game is still unstoppable.

The Real Question: Would We Want the Hammer to Go Away?

Alright, I’ll throw this out there—would we even want this hammer bug fixed? After ten years, it’s become such an integral part of the Witcher 3 community that I would argue this bug is part of its charm. Maybe CD Projekt Red is playing the long game. Maybe in “Polaris,” the little floating hammer will finally be given a backstory, or a full quest, and we’ll all laugh about what started as a simple bug.

Until then, I say we embrace it. Laugh along with the rest of the Witcher community. After all, even Geralt deserves a hilarious companion from time to time — even if that companion happens to be a stubborn sledgehammer stuck between his legs.